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The 16 Signs Your Cat Is Plotting World Domination
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully
reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of
Poland.
13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of
the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing
with yarn.
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets,
and nine suicide bombs.
11. What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose
step.
10. Well, "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo"
to be blueprint of the UN Building.
8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys
and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world
dictators in the basement.
5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some
kind of "land mine" technology.
4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.
2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes
up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
And the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination...
1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Feline of Fortune" magazine.
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