--after your humans give you a bath. DON"T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU. Run to their bed and dry yourself off on their sheets. This works especially if it is close to their bedtime.-------------------------------------------------------Act like a convicted criminal. Tail in between legs, ears down and chin to ground. Watch as they franctically search the house for damage they think you caused. (NOTE:IT ONLY WORKS WHEN YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG)----Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then when they go to demonstrate for someone else, STARE BLANKLY, act like you don't know what they are talking about.--------------------------------------------Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to "pee", sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act is if the spot you chose will ultimately decide the fate of the earth----------------------------------------Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk, pick the most busiest and visible place to go "poo". Take your time and make sure everyone is watching. This really works well if your human forgot a plastic bag.-------------When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing everytime a stranger passes by.----------------------------------------------------------Make your own rules when playing fetch. Let the humans go chase it once in a while.-------------------------------------------------------------------Hide from humans. Don't greet them when they come home. Make them think something terrible has happened to you.( DON"T APPROACH UNTIL THEY ARE PANIC_STRICKEN AND TEARY EYED)--------------------------------------When your human calls you to come back inside, take your time ands walk as slowly as possible back to the door.---------------------------------------Wake up twenty minutes before the humans alarm, so they take you out for your morning pee. Then when you come in, go back to sleep. ( Humans rarely can fall back asleep once being outside-this drives them nuts).
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