I'm taking a break

[pebo]

I just wanted to say that:

a) we as animal lovers should love and respect each other not only because we have feelings too, but because we are the ones that look after these animals that we all claim to love so much and united we can make a difference in the world.

b) those that come here for advice that might not seem like animal lovers should also be treated well in the hope to educate them and win them over NOT chase them away with our judgements and harsh words.

c) people are important too! We should treat each other with respect and love, the way we wish to be treated. Nobody deserves to be spoken to harshly, we are all equal - nobody is above anybody else.

Yes I'm bringing this up because I was offended by something today, but mainly because I have noticed this several times on the forum since I've been here and it saddens me.

Just like it angers me that animals get treated less important than people, it angers me just as much if people get treated worse than animals.

I'm a little upset because I thought I found a place where I could share with other fellow animal lovers my thoughts and feelings, get/give advice and just enjoy each other's company since we have so much in common. Or maybe I just need to calm down a bit, take a break and give it another chance.

I just don't like getting the feeling that others think I'm inadequate to own pets when they don't know anything about me. I'm not perfect, I'm sure I'm not the perfect pet owner, but show me one who is. None of us are perfect so we should not judge each other, we should rather do our best to educate each other and help each other because at the end of the day we all have the same goal - to give every animal we possibly can, the best life we possibly can.

[morevicky]

hey bebo

Im sorry you got offended by whatever happend, its prolly just a misunderstanding that you should mention to the person who offended you im sure what was said can be quickly fixed.

8)

Vicky

i've felt just like you many times pebo....the only thing that keeps me coming back is seeing everyone's pets on the portrait central. i do feel there are people here that have illusions of grandeur.

well i'll be starting school again soon and i probably won't sign in as often so i don't let it get to me especially because i know i try my best just as i'm sure you try your best to be polite and open-minded and a good pet owner.

actually i know someone who has decided to leave/take a break from PL and i almost left with her too.

let's just hope people can see that they're driving people away and perhaps can become a little more tolerant of others' thoughts and opinions.

[katiem]

Do you feel like you need to leave because people have disagreed with you? I don't think anyone assumed you were a bad pet owner, nor have I seen anyone disrespect you. Just because we disagree here doesn't mean we can't get along or value each other.

Perhaps its just me and I'm being cynical, but I'm really getting tired of people getting upset and leaving because everyone doesn't agree exactly with them. Everyone here has at one time been offended by something posted, but we are generally a good group. If you can't see past the occasional upset, then I guess you'll be better off leaving. Its too bad though pebo, because I know a lot of us have valued your advice and opinions.

[nanamouse]

Hon, I don't think anything that's been written was meant as an offense to you or anyone one else, some of us are more blunt than others, some have more experience in some areas and can say things with a little more certainty than others, but I think that in general we try to get along.

Yes, there are times when we get oversensitive and squabble like a flock of sparrows, and things get out of hand, but shoot, that even happens in family's where you would expect everyone should know how to take everyone elses words.

I know that I value your opinions, and usually am for the most part in agreement with you. The differences in how things are done in our different locations account for most of the disagreements, what can be done in South Africa is not always practical in the United states and visa versa.

[Macawpower58]

I've been following the thread you're talking about.

Yes, things were said that may have caused you to be hurt, but I doubt they were intended that way. Sometimes we get so intense, what we're trying to say, comes out wrong.

I hope you give this board another try, we (as you mention) are all imperfect, and we all make mistakes.

[Julia423]

I do hope that you will return. I understand the need for breaks in all areas of our lives. As you said, perhaps it's just your time to calm down and give it another chance. It's not always easy to type as diplomatically as we might speak in person. We don't really know each other... just bits... and of those bits, we all have very different personalities and lives. Thank goodness for that! Life would be pretty dull if we were all alike.

Take the time you need, and I hope to 'read' you soon.

[Hunna]

Yes, this boad can be very harsh and unfriendly at times. But, it can also be supportive. When I post, I usually expect the same 3 or 4 people to answer me, and the rest to completely skip over my threads. Thats ok with me. I usually get my answer.

A few months ago, I lost my cat to FeLV. I had to put him down at 14 months old. There are 4 on this board that really helped me through that. I am not a loud person in general, so when you do hear from me, its usually pretty hard stuff. Or my occasional blonde moment where I come up with some really silly nagging question in the back of my head that no one around here (in my household) will discuss with me about animals.

You know, I was in wal-mart the other night, with my $50 christmas giftcard getting needed items for the house, like laundry soap and such. I also needed cat food and litter. As I was carrying my items to the truck, with my special kitty clumping litter, and purina kitten chow food, I thought "Boy, if petlovers could see me now they would not have kind things to say".

We all love our pets, and do the best we can with what we are given to work with. My pets usually eat Iams pet food. Not this month. Some people understand hardships, other lucky ones do not.

Chin up my dear. Dont loose faith in us animal lovers just yet. We are only human after all. Everyone has opinions, we choose weither or not to listen or agree with them. Take a break if you are truely stressed, but dont leave us forever.

[RoxyGirl]

It is also hard sometimes to read the tones that people use when they write. You cannot hear the tones as if we were speaking to each other. So this leads to a lot of arguments, often over nothing really. So someone may think that someone else is being rude, because you read it on a certain tone, but the person who wrote it did not mean it that way. Kinda hard to explain.

[MustLuvMutts]

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I hope you decide to come back. I know I've been in arguments on here and had people say some not so nice things, but I just brush it off. I understand that it isn't as easy for other to always do the same. Overall, this is a pretty nice place with so many friendly, helpful people to chat with and get advice from. I think that's more valuable and imporant than the petty arguments people have on here. I know a lot of people become rather close to others on this board, but in the end we have to remember that it's just an internet forum. And I definitely agree with RoxyGirl. I think people misunderstand me and accidentally take offense simply because they can't understand the tone or manner in which I'm actually meaning/saying it. People usually type the same way they speak, but when we only have the words to look at without the voice, tone, and body language, we often read it in an incorrect way; however, I still don't blame you if you feel you were treated rudely and unfairly, because it does happen. I hope we can all show you that we care about and respect you here.

[tandy]

I have also been spoken to in harsh tones and have been insulted and actually have been threatened in PM's by people who I would not expected to be spoken to in that tone. I just SOB and ignore.

Please stay.

[tiffers]

Originally Posted by Hunna

As I was carrying my items to the truck, with my special kitty clumping litter, and purina kitten chow food, I thought "Boy, if petlovers could see me now they would not have kind things to say".

AHAHAHA! ...I do that, too!

'I wonder what PetLover's who say about this?!'
'If only _______ saw this!'

It is funny...my mother and I discuss PetLover's outside of PetLover's. The drama...the madness...but, man...you make some darn good friends here.

[katiem]

Originally Posted by TIFFERS

AHAHAHA! ...I do that, too!

'I wonder what PetLover's who say about this?!'
'If only _______ saw this!'

I do it too! I had to buy no name brand cat food late one night and I thought "Jeez, better not let this get around on PL!".

[Julia423]

Oh, no. Don't let it get out ... we're HUMAN!

[pebo]

Originally Posted by katiem

Do you feel like you need to leave because people have disagreed with you? I don't think anyone assumed you were a bad pet owner, nor have I seen anyone disrespect you. Just because we disagree here doesn't mean we can't get along or value each other.

Perhaps its just me and I'm being cynical, but I'm really getting tired of people getting upset and leaving because everyone doesn't agree exactly with them. Everyone here has at one time been offended by something posted, but we are generally a good group. If you can't see past the occasional upset, then I guess you'll be better off leaving. Its too bad though pebo, because I know a lot of us have valued your advice and opinions.

No, I am not that shallow. I don't get upset because people disagree with me, I am actually someone who doesn't take offense very easily. Maybe you should read the post I'm talking about then you will see why I was offended. Telling someone they shouldn't get a pet ever again is a bit harsh in my opinion!

Anyway, it's sorted out, but the point of this thread was to let everyone know that we should all try a lot harder to be nicer to each other. Choose your words carefully because you are dealing with text, try not to be harsh/blunt etc. We can't read each other's body languages or hear the tone of voice. What happens here so often is that people make assumptions and that comes across as a judgement call. Don't assume, give the person the benefit of the doubt, they are here for a reason. By being rude it's not going to help anything.