A parrot joke....

[birdygirl]

There once was a magician. The magician worked on a cruise ship. Whenever he tried to do magic tricks the parrot would always give away where the item he made dissapear was. The magician could never do anything to the parrot because it was the captains bird. One day the ship hit an iceberg and sunk. Everyone got onto the life boats and were safe. The magician and the parrot were stuck on the same lifeboat. However their lifeboat drifted away from the others. After three days the parrot looks at the magician and said"OK I give up what did you do with the boat?"

[MrPetLover]

lol :-)

[Redstorm1721]

LMAOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[birdgirl]

funny!!! my brother is a real magician and he tells that joke all the time

[jackie]

here's 2 more jokes:

A lady walks in to a pet store and asks the salesman
if he has any parrots for sale. He replies that he has a very
special parrot in back. They go to the back of the store and see a beautiful bird with a string around each leg. The salesman explains that if she pulls the string on the left leg, the bird sings "Nearer My God to Thee," and if she pulls the right string, it sings, "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on my Head." The lady asks what
happens if she pulls both strings, and the bird yells out, "I fall on my butt, you big dummy!!"


There's this guy with a parrot. This parrot swears like a sailor... I mean he's a pistol. He could swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the fella that owned him was a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth drove him crazy.
One day, while the guy was reading the paper it got to be too much, so the guy grabbed the bird by the throat, shook him really hard, and yelled, "QUIT IT!"
This just made the bird mad, and he swore more than ever.
The guy got mad and said, "OK, that's it for you" and locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravated the bird so he clawed and scratched at the door. When the guy finally let him out, the bird cut loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy was so mad that he threw the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there was a terrible din. The bird kicked and clawed and thrashed about. Then it suddenly got very... very... quiet.
At first the guy just waited, but then he started to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of moments of silence, he was so worried that he opened up the freezer door.
At that point, the bird calmly climbed from the freezer onto the man's out- stretched arm and said, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man was astounded. A transformation that had come over the parrot, rendering him quiet and well-behaved.
The man left the parrot in his cage and went back to reading his paper. After a few reflective minutes, the parrot cocked his head, looked at the man, and said "By the way, what did the chicken do wrong ?"

[birdygirl]

LMBO

[Jenny]

Ha-ha-ha!!! Thanks for posting those! (poor chicken :( !)

[somnseph]

Here's a couple:

Before the collapse of communism, this Russian guy loses his pet parrot. He looks everywhere, all around the neighborhood, in the park, everywhere. He can't find the parrot. Finally he goes around to the KGB office, and tells the desk officer his problem. The officer is a little puzzled. "Look, comrade, I'm sorry you lost your bird, but this is the KGB. We don't handle missing animal reports." "Oh, I know that", says the guy. "I just wanted you to know, if you do find my parrot... I don't know where he could have picked up all his political ideas."

Mrs. Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment,and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!"

A burglar sneaks in a dark bar...(after hours) and goes right to the cash register. A voice calls out, "GOD IS WATCHING YOU". He looks all around and sees nothing so returns to jimmying the cash drawer. Again, the voice says, "GOD IS WATCHING YOU". The burglar looks around and finally sees a parrot in a cage and says, "Oh, Hi Polly. You startled me." "Hey" said the parrot. "My name ain't Polly. It's John the Baptist." The burglar snorted, "Who in the world named you John the Baptist?". Parrot says, "The same guy who named that Rottweiler over there God!"