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KFarrel
09-21-2011, 12:35 PM
Hello! I am a newly wed and trying to blend a fur family and having major problems! My husband has two very sweet, non-aggressive indoor/outdoor cats, ages 5 & 3, both spayed females. We moved into his house after the wedding. Mine is an 11-year old spayed female who has been an only child for about 4 years since her littermate passed away.

Some historical information on my cat: She has always been fairly aggressive towards other people. She has never been very friendly in general (except to me, of course). Over the past several months leading up to the wedding & move my hubby has spent hours trying to cultivate a relationship with her with limited success. She began letting him pet her occasionally and stopped hissing and growling every time he came around.

For the first week, my girl was seperated from the other two via some fortunate features the house has that closes off the back hall & guestrooms so that she had 3 rooms and a hall to herself. This space joins the rest of the house via the master bedroom, so we have traded the MB every other day between mine & his girls.

Things were going ok. Everyone was getting used to the smells and the first face to face meeting was some growling and posturing but that's it. We praised all the girls for being so good and felt very positive. In the time since, my cat has become more and more agressive to the point of attacking the other cats without provocation. We had been deterring this with a water bottle and loud distraction noises, but now that does not even stop her from the fight and my hubby is scratched up and scabbed from breaking up fights and one of 'his' girls has an eye injury. Still, niether of his girls are agressive towards mine. As soon as mine enters a room, sees the other cat (they usually don't even realize she's there) she attacks.

This is turning into a nightmare and I am at a loss of what to do. She has gotten to the point where when she is in her sperate area she sits by the door and growls and scratches every time one of the other cats is nearby, and tries to bolt out after them as soon as the door is cracked open.

We have tried everything, even the pheremone collars and plug-ins with no success. I LOVE my cat, but she is making our house so stressful. Since she has never been friendly I get zero support from family & friends. My hubby knows how much I care for her and has agreed to do whatever we can to ease the situation but I am at my wit's end! Please help!

special
09-22-2011, 06:55 AM
Your kitty has been through a lot of stress, and she is reacting to that. She's had to give up her entire life as she knows it. She's in a new strange place, with strange cats and a strange human, who has been forcing his attentions on her (it is always better to let a cat decide when to like a human. I understand what he was trying to do, but he should let her be)

Everything she knows and loves, from her point of view, has been taken from her, except you.

Please stop spraying her and making loud noises at her. She is only reacting to her feelings, she is not being "bad" on purpose. Adding more stress is only making things worse. She doesn't understand what has happened to her.

Keep the feliway going. Bring her to the vet for a check up. Stress makes cats sick. She may have a urinary tract infection or other illness making her feel even more vulnerable.

Keep the cats separated. Let her live in her three rooms, keep a feliway going in there and be sure to spend a lot of time with her. Let her sleep with you. The other two cats have the rest of the house (which is theirs to begin with) and outside to entertain them. All she has is you.

Some cats need many many months to adjust to changes. Your girl is one of them. When you spend time with her, make it large chunks of time. Bring a book and sit and read and let her curl up on your lap. Have grooming and bonding sessions. Talk to her, tell her what has happened and why.

Reassure her that no one will ever hurt her and you will always be there for her, and she can relax and adjust at her own pace. Tell her all these things, every time you spend time with her.

Make the visits routine, at the same times every day. Cats thrive on routine. If she knows exactly when you will be coming, and that when you do come she will get as much attention and love as she needs from you, this will help her adjust.

Don't let the other cats in her area. She needs a place to call her own.

Do please get her to the vet, have blood work done (ask for a super-chem or senior blood profile including thyroid) and a urinalysis done.

Welcome to pet lovers, please keep us posted.

special
09-22-2011, 07:39 AM
PS smell is everything to a cat. Does she have familiar things around her? Things from your old home, that smell like comfort to her? You need to recreate those three rooms into what she is used to as much as possible.

Putting your old furniture in there will help, if you haven't already.

KFarrel
10-19-2011, 09:43 AM
The situation has not improved. We have tried every suggestion given to us. I have taken her to the vet and everything came back fine. However, the vet wants to try blood pressure medication to calm her down even though her blood pressure is normal!?!? Getting the lab work and records today and getting another opinion. I am VERY frustrated, as now she has started crying incessently even when seperated from the rest of the household. I do spend a significant amount of time with her (just her) every day, but as soon as we all settle in for the night she starts crying, and this gets the other cats irritated and then everyone is up all night. I am exhausted and have no idea what to do next.

@Special: Yes, she has her blanket, my bedspread (has not been washed since before we moved to the new place), her cat tree, and her toys all in her space.

wendylv5
10-26-2011, 08:25 AM
You are going to have to keep them seperated. I think that is the only thing to do that is safe for everyone. She needs more time to adjust, eventually she will give up but it will take time. Everbody is different. Your other option is to give her away to some one you trust as an only cat. Is she declawed? Careful of the eye injury, my cat bootsie (RIP) lost his eye in a cat fight. Good Luck