grieving for my kitten

[maggiemay]

i just lost my 7 month old female kitten who went in to be spayed. the vet didn't even have a chance to start the surgery, something went really wrong and he thinks she had a heart attack due to being allergic to the anesthesia. i rushed from work to be with her, ( she was brain dead) i held her while he put her to sleep. it's been a week and a half now, i feel a little better i guess, i don't recall much of the 3 days after her death. i think i was in shock, even worse than when a good friend died 3 mos. ago. sounds kinda weird i know, but i really really loved that kitten. i have 5 other cats and a dog and a parrot, but she was really the closest to me besides the dog anyway. i also feel guilty,not logical, but i'm supposed to protect her and i could'nt. i wish i knew more about anesthesia then, i do now. i have 3 other kittens to be spayed and i know i'll be a nervous wreck til i know they're ok.it's good to talk about this and get feedback hopefully from others who have experienced losing a pet. this is my first loss. thanks, deb

[dlaura]

Hi Deb,
So sorry to hear about your kitty. I think this happened to another person on this board around the same time last year. Don't remember if it was due to anesthesia but her kitten didn't make it through being spayed either. You mention having three other kittens - did one of your 5 cats have babies? It is so hard when something like this happens but at least you have your other animals to give you comfort. Take care and hope you feel better soon.

[maggiemay]

thanks for responding, no my other 3 kittens we're just strays my daughter seems to find. i always get my kittens fixed around 6-7 mos. of age, that's why this was such a shock because i've been through this at least 8 times and never gave a second thought to anything like this happening. one goes in the morning to be spayed, to the same vet, everyone says i should switch vets, i don't blame him by any means, but i also think after what happened he's probably the safest one to go to. thanks again, deb

[NiteRose]

Sorry to hear about what happen :( I know it is hard not to feel guilty, but you did rush to be by her side, and that says that you cared greatly for her.

If you have always trusted this vet, and he has provided good care for your other animals, then stick with him. I'm sure it will be scary to get the other kitties fixed now, but it really is in thier best interest, it is just a shame that things can go wrong at times.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[dlaura]

Guess sometimes it is just fate. I read about this same thing happening a few days before our "shop kittens" were to be spayed/neutered and was worried about them. Up until recently I have been a big fan of dogs all my life, only to discover the world of birds and then how wonderful cats are too. These two kittens were inseparable and would each take turns visiting me at my desk during the day. I had a strange feeling about the female and felt she might not be alive when I returned the day after her spaying --- she made it thru and was fine. However, the feeling continued for a few weeks and I was so happy to find her each Monday when I returned to work and that I had to force myself to stop "hearing" that funny feeling. I did that and the very next Monday I returned to work only to be told that the female had been caught in the garage door on that Friday and was no longer with us. Sometimes no matter what you do, say or think fate just takes its course. I still miss Goldy especially when her brother visits me in my office and now I only see him sleeping on my desk instead of the two of them cuddled up. So, if it helps just know there are others of us here who have had similiar experiences and understand just how you feel.

[macassie]

Deb, I'm so sorry to hear about your little kitty. I hope your heart finds peace soon.

[maggiemay]

thank you to all who responded, it's nice to know there are people out there who care about animals as much as i do. my other kitten went this morning to be spayed and came through it with flying colors! thanks again,deb

[Cat&Dog mom]

Deb, I'm sorry to hear a bout your kitten, that is so sad, just a baby. I guess they are just like us in some ways, there are many people who die under anesthesia also. I hope your heart will heal. Best wishes.

[NiteRose]

happy to hear your second kitten came through just fine!! I hope that has helped you some during this time.

[macassie]

Good news about your second kitty. You poor thing. That must have been an incredibly tense time for you. Glad it went well!

[maggiemay]

hi everyone,
just wanted to say thanks to all of you for your kindness and for taking the time to write back with your thoughts, you guys are all truly special and i look forward to sharing my experiences as well as your own together in the future. hopefully there will be more funny ones rather than sad. deb

[hitchinlo]

do you know the number one cause of death in the surgery rooms with Humans?? the anestesia (I know that spelling doesn't look correct..lol). No matter who what where or when that is what usually makes even the simplest surgery complicated. Some little and big bodies just cant' handle it.
I am VERY sorry for your loss! I too have just started raising cats (well I have over 40 right now). I'm learning alot quickly but apparently now quick enough since I too lost a precious kitten the other night due to an allergic reaction to Amoxicilian. I can TOTALLY feel in my heart your grief and guilt. There are alot of things we may never understand but we will continue on with a smile on our faces everytime we think of some little silly memory. sending you a big hug!!!

[Wanda]

i just lost my 7 month old female kitten who went in to be spayed. the vet didn't even have a chance to start the surgery, something went really wrong and he thinks she had a heart attack due to being allergic to the anesthesia. i rushed from work to be with her, ( she was brain dead) i held her while he put her to sleep. it's been a week and a half now, i feel a little better i guess, i don't recall much of the 3 days after her death. i think i was in shock, even worse than when a good friend died 3 mos. ago. sounds kinda weird i know, but i really really loved that kitten. i have 5 other cats and a dog and a parrot, but she was really the closest to me besides the dog anyway. i also feel guilty,not logical, but i'm supposed to protect her and i could'nt. i wish i knew more about anesthesia then, i do now. i have 3 other kittens to be spayed and i know i'll be a nervous wreck til i know they're ok.it's good to talk about this and get feedback hopefully from others who have experienced losing a pet. this is my first loss. thanks, deb


Hi!
I can relate to how you're feeling about your kitty's death and how the pain and grief is worse then losing a loved one/friend. The first few days are really bad and I was a basket case the night my cat died. I wasn't thinking to clearly after my beloved cat of 17yrs( I had him since he was a kitten) passed away last Friday and I think it happens to everyone....not thinking to clearly. I was feeling guilt about my cat's death but I found a Bereavement site for grieving pet owners and it has helped me some. I'm sure as time goes on and I hang in there on that site I will come a long just fine. It is just so hard because my cat and I were really close and I loved him dearly. Pets do love us unconditionally.

Wanda

[Fosterllama]

You can lessen the chance that this will happen by having the vet do pre-surgery bloodwork, put in an IV catheter and make sure your vet uses plenty of patient monitoring during surgery.

[horsefeather]

maggie, i sorry to hear about your kitten. but yeah about the second kitten. i know it sucks, but i wasnt your fault. things happen. like people, animals can be allergic to anesthetic.

having pre surgical bloodwork may not necessarily be helpful. all it really does is make sure the organs are able to handle the anesthec.
it wont tell if the animal is allergic to the drug. thats really something that cant be tested for.

im sure your vet was shocked and felt terrible. nobody likes to lose an animal. i wouldnt change vets. this wasnt his fault.

[Fosterllama]

Pre anesthetic bloodwork will also signal bleeding problems, which wasn't a problem in this case, but could be in another case.