Great Dane and a Crazy Foster Mom

[tiffers]

A VERY respectable friend of mine is looking for a Great Dane. They recently lost their Ally to cancer after 10 years.

Woman (she has her own rescue operation) comes in with a GORGEOUS GD puppy...blue coloring, absolutely huge at less than 4 months...and the perfect opportunity for my friend. So, I exchanged numbers and whatnot.

Come to find out, this woman is a complete loon.

She kept making references that my friend can't have this GD until he's neutered because they have a female GD already...who, she continually forgets, is spayed and DEAD.

She then asks them about the furniture in their house, the type of flooring and walls they have, and a few other useless information. She said she couldn't bring herself to let this dog live ANYWHERE with hardwood or tile floors.

Then, she tries to schedule a home visit. My friend tells her that she only works a few days a week, the lady sends her a long email talking about how she can't let anyone have this dog if they can't be with it all the time.

WTF?!

[ferJenna]

OMG... Really??!!? Some people's children..

[tiffers]

I am still floored by this woman...I just don't understand some people. You are trying to find homes for these animals that you take in...yet...you refuse to let anyone take them!

[Macawpower58]

lol..........it takes all kinds. I actually believe fosters/rescuers have to be a little kookoo, but in a good sense of the word. I have a friend who both does dog behavior exams for a shelter, and fosters GSDs. She also is a little kookoo.........but with a heart as big as Texas!

[nanamouse]

I am still floored by this woman...I just don't understand some people. You are trying to find homes for these animals that you take in...yet...you refuse to let anyone take them!

It sounds like she's gotten attached and doesn't really want to let him go. Which isn't a bad thing in itself, she just needs to quit advertising him and adopt him in that case, not get other peoples hopes up only to make impossible demands on them.

[MandyPug]

I am still floored by this woman...I just don't understand some people. You are trying to find homes for these animals that you take in...yet...you refuse to let anyone take them!

At our humane society we have policies like this lady, but not quite to that extreme. They are made in the best interest of the animals so they go to an optimal home which usually ensures they don't get returned. However, alot of our policies cause some trouble within the community; we get angry letters and phone calls all the time because people haven't been approved because they work 12 hour days or they want an outside dog or cat. We have rules for reasons because we've seen worst case scenarios. The one that recently got us the most flack was the rule that we will not adopt an animal (cat OR dog) to a family with mentally disabled children. Yes animals are great therapy, but dogs from the shelter are not trained to handle kids like that and a TRAINED therapy dog is often what should be looked into. We get that "you say you want them to find homes but you refuse to adopt to us" all the time.

However the hardwood floors thing sound stupid haha, unless your dog has an issue with leg stability i do not see an issue. The neutering thing is common though, rescue people have alot going on usually so they forget things. And the part about not being home is stupid... as long as it isn't long hour days a dog will be fine ESPECIALLY a dane.

[Jennicat]

The hardwood floor thing is because Danes are very prone to joint and hip problems, and slipping and falling on hardwood and tile are very common aggravators to those types of things. Even "stable" dogs can go zoomie though the house, slip, and then go crashing, especially a giant gangly teenaged Dane. :)

With that being said, I'm never really sure why people get so upset over what people require to adopt an animal. This person is spending hundreds of dollars of her own money to support this dog, to give it medical care, etc. Her goal is not to "put it in a home", but to put it in the right home. If she wants to require people to wear clown makeup and and own a Porsche, I don't see how it really affects anybody else in the community?

[katiem]

I have to admit, when I was looking for a home for Bram I was a bit like this lady. You grow close to the animal and wants whats best (in your eyes) for it. I realized that when I was describing "the Perfect Home" for him I was describing my own.

I don't think I ever asked about furniture or flooring though.:rolleyes:

[nanamouse]

The hardwood floor thing is because Danes are very prone to joint and hip problems, and slipping and falling on hardwood and tile are very common aggravators to those types of things. Even "stable" dogs can go zoomie though the house, slip, and then go crashing, especially a giant gangly teenaged Dane. :)


Cool, there is a logical basis for it. It was a little disturbing to think of innocent animals in the care of someone who seemed to be totaly irrational, but apparantly she just knows her breed.:)

[Jennicat]

It's a little on the paranoid side, I admit, but I'm also the person who once rushed her guinea pig to the emergency vet because he had some crust in his eyes and he'd just been sleeping, so I'm not really the type of person who can point fingers in the paranoid department, heh. ;)

[tiffers]

Who has an entirely carpet house? There are plenty of large breed dogs that live in houses with hardwood or tile homes and they do fine. God forbid that the owner works three days a week, she doesn't deserve a single animal then! That's just ridiculous...she will NEVER rehome any dog or cat at this rate.

[ferJenna]

I fostered Dane's, and my house at the time was entirely hard wood. They did just fine, they had a nice fluffy bed to sleep in. Does that make me a bad foster mom?

[tiffers]

Does that make me a bad foster mom?
Duh! Don't you know that Danes can NEVER set a single toe on a hard surface! :eek:

[ferJenna]

:eek: >.<

[tiffers]

We used to sell little collars that this lady made to support her rescue, but we stopped that long ago...I never talked with her before, but the receptionists always made comments about the things she was doing...now, I can certainly see why...

[Macawpower58]

If her heart is good, and her care of them good, then a few eccentricities should not be faulted. I wish I had the fortitude to rescue. Sadly I am too selfish and self centered.

[Jennicat]

I don't recall anyone in the thread freaking out and saying that if you didn't keep Danes on carpet all their legs would snap off and they would die. But it is a valid concern, and she doesn't seem to be a jerk about it. If that's her requirements, it's her requirements. I'm kind of glad that she's not bending her requirements just to move animals.

I fostered Dane's, and my house at the time was entirely hard wood. They did just fine, they had a nice fluffy bed to sleep in. Does that make me a bad foster mom?

This type of logic can be turned against you though.

"I had a dog, and he never went to the vet, and he had a big fluffy bed and I loved him, so he was just fine, see?"

"I had a dog, he liked to roam around unneutered, and he got the best treats ever, and I loved him, and he was just fine!"

"I had a dog, and we bred 10 litters from her, and she was the sweetest dog ever, and had the most adorable cuddly chew toy ever that was her favorite, and she lived to be 19 and was just fine!"

The hardwood floor thing is not ANYTHING LIKE those examples, but if you make an exception for one person, you have to start making exceptions for others. "Being fine" doesn't necessarily mean that the practice can't cause problems to some dogs. Heck, for all we know, this dog has already had hip issues and/or is from a family of dogs with serious hip displaysia, and she's trying to be extra careful because of that. Or she could be one of those super paranoid people who is better safe than sorry.

Who has an entirely carpet house? There are plenty of large breed dogs that live in houses with hardwood or tile homes and they do fine. God forbid that the owner works three days a week, she doesn't deserve a single animal then! That's just ridiculous...she will NEVER rehome any dog or cat at this rate.

There are plenty of dogs that do all the things above, and they're "just fine" too. A rescue or rescue person has to set the rules for animals that they feel are right to find that animal the correct home. It's not about an owner not deserving an animal, it's about what that animal needs.

We've had plenty of dogs in our rescue that were absolutely fine to stay at home while somebody went to work. And we've had something were not ok alone. Sometimes that was resolved by having another dog in the residence so they weren't alone. One pair was from a puppy mill and had serious separation anxiety, and we had to deny people who worked all week because the dogs would flip out and nearly kill themselves if they were left alone for more than 1-2 hours at the time. And we got lots of nasty emails about what good pet parents people were and how they couldn't believe that we would turn them down for this pair of dogs. (They were shih-tzus, and highly adoptable).

They couldn't understand that it wasn't about whether or not they were a good pet parent, it was about the needs of the dog. And yes, the pair did get adopted, together, to an absolutely wonderful little retired lady who spoils them rotten and takes them everywhere with her. I'm sure your clinic has turned down a ton of people to adopt kittens and such for various reasons, and I'm sure they went home and had the same conversation about how you guys are way too picky and will never adopt any animals out.

It seems sort of mean to come online and badmouth her on the fact that she turned down your friend. If she's treating the animals well, getting them vet care, not hoarding them, providing them with socialization, in the end she's spending a ton of her own hard-earned money and that gets to be her right. Her requirements for the dog are extreme, but in the end, they're about the health and wellbeing of the dog, even if they are a bit paranoid or difficult for most people. So this doggie isn't a good match, keep looking for another doggie. :)

[That_girl]

My best friend in high school's mom raised/bred/showed Danes. THeir house was almost entirely tile. She would send the dogs outside, all 6 or 8 or however many they had at that time. Then they'd all come thundering in. Not ONCE did one slip and fall.

Jennicat, I think your comparisons are taking this issue to the extreme. I don't see Tiffers bad mouthing anyone, anyway. She was posting a concern about why a woman wouldn't let a dog go to a perfectly caring home. Using the 'hardwood' floors had to be an excuse to cover up some other reason.

[Jennicat]

I know they were extreme, that's why I said that they were taking it to the extreme, right in the post along with the examples. Making small concessions in the name of "moving an animal" often leads to a progression of more serious concessions, and those are some of the more extreme concessions. I have seen it happen with other rescues in the area, and it's not pretty.

[tiffers]

But it is a valid concern, and she doesn't seem to be a jerk about it.

It is a valid concern. But, this lady is flippin' nuts. It's not just the 'tile'. It's EVERYTHING.

Type of Furniture
Type of Wall Paper/Covering
Age, Type, Number of Family Members
House Square Feet
Type of Neighborhood
Area of Neighborhood
Type of Flooring
Type of Vehicles in the household
Work/School Schedules
Leisure Activities

Just to name a few...I am shocked she didn't ask for SS #'s or Driver's License.


This lady was absolutely out of her mind. You all are only hearing what I have said, and have never personally talked to her. Sure, she means well...maybe, but she will never find a home for animals if she is a radical about it. That's my opinion.

These people would have BEEN exceptional parents for that puppy, but now she is stuck with him. They've gone out and adopted two Great Danes from another source. So, good for them.

[tiffers]

It seems sort of mean to come online and badmouth her on the fact that she turned down your friend. If she's treating the animals well, getting them vet care, not hoarding them, providing them with socialization, in the end she's spending a ton of her own hard-earned money and that gets to be her right.

I am not badmouthing her for turning down a potential parent for this dog. As I said earlier, they've gone elsewhere and adopted two Great Danes. I almost feel bad for this dog and any dog/cat in her care. I don't know that she's treating them well, or getting vet care, hell...she could be hoarding (with her requirements I can see her having a TON of animals)...all I know is that the conversations she had with them were insane...absolutely crazy.

[theresa92841]

Ohhhhhh. Don't get me started on rescue / foster folks. Just really, don't. :D

Yep, Tiffers, she is nutso.

And just because I can't help myself. Really, you can't provide for the needs of a dog with separation anxiety if you work outside of the home? Hmmm, I guess that doggy day care I take my dogs to just wouldn't make the grade. AND that is one of many many many many reasons why I just really shouldn't get started on this topic.

<going away now never to open this thread again so I don't get worked up> :D

[tiffers]

LoL, Theresa. 8]

I understand prerequisites and requirements, but I just really feel like this lady has gone overboard with it all. What does more than most of that stuff matter?!

[Jennicat]

I never said you "couldn't" provide for a dog with separation anxiety if you worked outside the home, simply that THESE dogs needed it. The dogs I was referring to were extremely overwhelmed by other dogs because they were kept in a cage their entire lives with only each other. THESE dogs needed to be with someone as much as possible. So no, your doggy daycare wouldn't make that "grade".

Apparently people are reading my posts of "Hey, the person who actually has the dog may know what's best for it, here are some examples of similar situations we've been in where a SPECIFIC dog needed a SPECIFIC environment" as "ZOMG YOU CAN NEVER HAVE A DOG IF YOU WORK OR IF YOU HAVE A TILE FLOOR OR IF YOU HAVE STAIRS OR LIKE PONIES" and then launching into a tirade about what an awesome pet parent they are. Meeting a specific animal's needs often has very little to do with being a good pet parent. It's about personality and lifestyle compatibility. People can roll their eyes all they want, but most rescuers are pretty good at matching animals to people. We have to turn down awesome applications for some dogs because they simply don't mesh with a person's lifestyle. One lady was ga-ga over a terrier we had and wanted him to be a therapy dog (visiting hospitals and the like). She was an impeccable applicant, and I would have given her virtually any animal we had. Except the dog she picked, because he was pulled for being nervous of strangers and not reacting well to new environments.

All going back to my point that the PERSON WITH THE PET knows the most about THAT SPECIFIC ANIMAL.

[Jennicat]

LoL, Theresa. 8]

I understand prerequisites and requirements, but I just really feel like this lady has gone overboard with it all. What does more than most of that stuff matter?!

To be honest, all of the things you listed as her psycho concerns could all have bearing on issues that the dog is having. Maybe we just rehab more problem dogs that you're used to dealing with, so I'm used to evaluating this kind of thing a bit more?

[tiffers]

The puppy is a perfectly normal Great Dane. She found him running down the street, well fed and well taken care of. Nothing is wrong with him, except that he was probably bought for an ENORMOUS amount of money and she is most likely concerned that someone will breed him. That's a legitimate concern. However, all of these million and one other questions are ridiculous...she called them a few times every day with more and more crazy questions. I guess he potentially could have problems now from being around her, and no...that is not too far a stretch. You have not met her...she is not all there.

Not ALL rescuers are amazing human dog whisperers. End of story.

[nanamouse]

.

Not ALL rescuers are amazing human dog whisperers. End of story.

In all honesty, I think we're all a little strange, I can almost always spot another animal nut in the store before she starts putting several large bags of kibble and a case of canned food in her buggy! Most of the ones I meet are within the bounds of reason, but I've run into a couple that it wasn't even possible to have a conversation with. I have to wonder what it is like in their houses?

[That_girl]

Not ALL rescuers are amazing human dog whisperers. End of story.

Kind of like not all parents make great parents. It's like anything else, there will always be people who are really good at what they do, and the nutballs.

Don't worry Tiffers. I know that when you say this woman is a nut, she's a nut. I mean, you're a vet tech....you see all kinds of people in the office. I bet you're pretty dang good at knowing who the good foster people are and who aren't. And if you need a place to talk about the people who upset you or you don't fully understand, some of us are here for you.

[MollyGroove]

wow... I totally understand the concern and logic behind the hard wood floors... but what kind of wall coverings?? the type of vehicles??? how the hell do those things matter? Personally, I am kind of leary of home based operations. If your a foster parent working for the humane society or SPCA, its a little different because usually they have rules that they have to adhere to... but I've seen a lot of things that just make you shake your head when it comes to someone running their own personal animal rescue. Not that they're all bad... but yeah... the horror stories I've witnessed and heard.... just... erg... some of them are quite frightening.

[Llamalady]

Sounds like she has the beginning of hoarding issues.

(Please don't flame me!)

Just because she has a good heart when it comes to the animals doesn't mean that she can't have issues when it comes to doing what could potentially be right for them.