Is it possible to retain a "nervous" dog?

[Gingeroonie]

I got my Ginger (a Shih Tzu mix) from a family who raised her
from pup about 6 months ago. Ginger is almost 3.
And, well, she and I are having trouble getting along. :( Ginger is a nervous dog. When she first came to us, she nipped frequently and without giving any warning at all. She's stopped nipping as frequently, thankfully. And a number of other problem behaviours have improved a lot with my effort to teach her (peeing on the carpet, refusing to eat). She's a quiet dog (I joke that she barks once a day, but it's true! that's her average!). She listens quite well when we're out on walks. She is still pretty terrified of other dogs when we're out,
but she doesn't bolt like she did at first.

I've put in a lot of effort to get her to where she is now, but...

I still have this constant feeling from her that she doesn't trust me, doesn't particularly like me, doesn't really care whether I'm there or not. And, well, my feelings are quite hurt. She goes nuts with excitement when other people come over, she absolutely loves my husband... I feel kind of left out of the love, you know?

And it's not that she turns her nose up at me. She just seems afraid and distrustful!

Maybe it's because I'm also the person who grooms, brushes, bathes, and otherwise "handles" her, which she does not like at all (she shakes like a leaf)? I had hoped that grooming her would help us bond... but it sure as hell doesn't look like that's working!

Maybe it's the woman who raised her that Ginger is still afraid of??

I really don't get it.
And I'm losing faith that we can turn it around, you know?
Ginger is my first dog and I'm actually quite sad at how it's turned out so far.
Don't get me wrong, there are lots of lovely things about Ginger that I enjoy... but she just seems like such a stressed out, frightened, generally distrustful creature that it just breaks me heart... and I don't know what the heck I can do about it!

Oh, and I did bring in a trainer to help us - since I can't take Ginger to a class because of her fear of other dogs (thanks to not being exposed at all when she was a pup) - and that's how we overcame her other issues. But, it's a very expensive arrangement, hiring a private trainer, so I can't continue with it, you know?

Any suggestions and ideas would be really really really welcome!!!

Ginger's mama

[Julia423]

First, welcome! We have many members who have lots of experience with training. Sadly, I'm not one of them. However, I did have a shih tzu for many years; he died a few weeks ago. I found that Max was the most stubborn dog I'd ever had and he was my challenge. He was smart, but it took a very long time and lots of repetition and patience on my part to get any training done. He was adopted from a shelter. Maybe your little Ginger is a stubborn tzu too. She may just need lots of time, patience, and love.

[theresa92841]

Boy, I hear you! I got Gigi at 7 months old and she is and was a fearful & shy puppy.

Here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Have a dog behaviorist come over. They are different than a trainer and usually are highly skilled in interpreting what is going on with your dog. S/he can give you practical suggestions that will help you either focus training or address the issues in other ways.

2. Make sure you have a high quality food. I know Dr. Fosters and Smith has a high quality food. My dog behaviorist said that this will make quite a difference.

3. Orient your training in ways to establish your dominance. The shih tzu will start to feel more safe and secure if she feels that she has you in charge.

4. Sometimes medication (like puppy prozac) can help her be just that little bit more calmer so that she is more receptive to training.

5. Try some calming things in the home. They have drops you can add to her water or you can plug in this thing in the wall (if you are interested I can look up their names.)

6. Take her to doggy classes. An instructor may let your dog go to a puppy class even though it is older. Puppies are way more accepting of other dogs and thus your fearful dog is more likely to start to accept a puppy over an adult dog.

7. Don't force the dog too much or she will become more distrustful.

8. Help her build her confidence through training . . . through a class (we do dog agility).

9. Really work with her and continue training. You can help her overcome her fears (especially if she has some treat that she would walk thru fire to get to.) I can give you some training ideas if that is the case. Train at least 10 minutes every day. And be sure to play with her too.

10. I take my dog to a groomers. And do anything like that if I think she would associate it with something negative. That way I can be more part of the positive stuff that happens to her.

Oh, and realize that some dogs will just always be shy. They may just be born that way. I find that every little thing that happens with Gigi means so much more to me. For example, today after work, I wanted to go outside and drink some wine and have her on a long lead so she could sit out front with me. Usually in order to put her harness on her, she will run into the bedroom and jump on the bed. Today when she started to go into the bedroom, I told her to wait. She sat down right there. I put the harness on and we went outside. I was thrilled!!! So even the little things with shy dogs can be rewarding.

Also, I read everything I can about training and about shy dogs.

Good luck. And I so understand about it breaking your heart. Your doggy is very lucky to have you.

[Macawpower58]

I would suggest having hubby do the things that stress her like grooming. At least for now.

You start to do what ever she likes best. Become something she looks forward too. Be very low key with her. Perhaps just companionable times just sitting in a field, you bring a book, and just get her use to you and peace.

Try and have hubby and others ignore her for a time. You supply the affection for now, make it easy and very slow and gentle.

You need to find a way to bond. Does she like car rides? If so only you take her on them, stop for an ice cream cone, share a lick or two. Does she like to swim? You take her to the lake. Just examples, but you get the idea.

You become the thing that brings the good things to her, no one else. At least not for awhile.

One other thing. With nervous dogs, try not to pet, hold, or coddle when they are acting up. Calming a nervous dog, actually acts in the opposite way, enforcing in the dog's mind, they were right to be afraid. Instead ignore nervous behavior, stand and act as if you notice nothing happening.

Praise and pet when the dog is relaxed. This further enforces the calm behavior you desire.

[happyday7]

My girl shih tzu lily was very shy too. She didn't like meeting other dogs and was afraid of everybody except my family, rabbit buddy CoCo and her doggie brother Tigger.
She used to bark at my guests from the time they came in to until they left my house. I was so embarassed.
What I did was. I took her walking around local community parks, where there's people and other people walking their dogs. So she gets used to seeing people and dogs. I also enrolled her in a puppy class. With the puppy class she actually opened up to her classmates towards the end of the course. oh and try taking your dog to doggie park too. But I would recommend the doggie park towards the end when you see your dog become more relaxed towards other dogs. As the doggie park goes I took her their few times but just carried her in and let her brother run around with other dogs. After few visits to the doggie park she actually wanted to come down and play too. So when she said she was ready I let her down to play with other doggies.
And about nipping, lily still does that when I try to give her a haircut around her face and when I grab her paws. It would be a problem if she does that to hurt me physically but I know that she's just warning me to tell me she doesn't like me doing that. But I still do it anyways bc she needs it. :) Nipping doesnt' necessarily means that she doesn't like u any less.

I think its wonderful that you adopted Ginger!
Ginger seems to need little more time to adjust to her new enviroment. Just be patient with her and she will come around soon. Once she opens up, she will realize you were doing all those things that she hated bc you care so much about her and soon you probably have to chase her away from you. :rolleyes:

[roxy]

People told me it could take that long for a dog that's older and frightened to really blossom. In the four months I've had Casey, he also has made a lot of improvement but he is also still very frightened by all people. Terrified actually. Loud noises and he jumps out of his skin. Even with me.

Just be patient. I socialized him every chance I get. When he's really scared, I pick him up. I don't "flood" him emotionally because I think that's cruel. Imagine being in your little dog's shoes... how scary it must be.

The other advice you got from the other posters is terrific so I won't repeat but I'll just say hang in there cuz this little dog needs you. Don't think like a human when you think of your dog. Also dog's pick up on all facial expressions and emotions. If I look at my dog crooked, he cowers. And I'm not even trying to upset him, I'm just distracted but he freaks. It's heartbreaking.

Hang in there. You're a nice person.