jenn
02-24-2004, 01:34 PM
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!v 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY
FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!v 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY
FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get
from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm,
not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am
convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The
bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, It is only a matter of time.
The Cat
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!v 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY
FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!v 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY
FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!
6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get
from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm,
not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am
convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The
bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, It is only a matter of time.
The Cat