The Macaw and the girlfriend

[kitty1973]

I need some advise. My boyfriend has a Macaw and she is beautiful, silly and very loving with him. She is very chatty and I love to hear her talk. But she wont talk when I am there. she sits very low on the top of the cage and just stares at me. When I call him she is talking up a storm and seems really happy. It makes me kinda sad that I might make her feel uncomfortable.
In the past she has bit me on the toe, and she tries to sit in between him and I on the couch.

How can I let her know that I don't want to come between him and her, and how can I establish a relationship with her? My boyfriend and I are talking about the future and living together, and I would like to establish a friendship before that happens.

Thanks so much:)

[beaburley]

It sounds real sad but you might not ever get to be close to this Macaw. They get really close to their owner and they get jealous if anyone gets too close to the one they love the most. It's sad but true. Time and patience will tell. Just be careful because Macaws can be very mean. Make sure your boyfriend is around while you try to get acquainted and make friends with the bird. And remember, these birds know when you are afraid of them. I have a cockatoo that is a family bird. She's mine but she is really sweet most of the time. But she cops a attitude with me some of the time. Why I don't know but only she knows I guess. Just be careful and good luck.

[dlaura]

First I have to ask if by chance you are the girlfriend involved in this thread?
http://forums.petlovers.com/vb/showthread.php?t=24322

I would certainly hope not, but felt the need to ask because - well this would not be the best thing happening to all involved - especially the bird. My reply needs to be based on knowing the answer to my question. So I will await an answer to my question before I reply any further.


Again it doesn't seem to be related to the other thread because it sounds like the bird is still with your boyfriend --- I just need to be sure. Thanks for your understanding.

[kitty1973]

I completely understand you asking, and trust me, I am NOT that girl! I would NEVER allow him to give his girl away!!! I read that thread and was seriously upset.

I just was worried about Zoe (that's her name) and I want her to feel comfortable around me. Maybe I should alter my behavior around her, not sit so close to him on the couch, ya know? Any advise on my behavior or developing a relationship with her would be great!

[dlaura]

Thank you for understanding my concern. The situation in that thread was disturbing to me as well, but it happens a lot unfortunately. Well we have a B&G macaw who is about 6 years old and we got him as a baby. He is a clown and very loving bird.

I can remember going to the pet store and visiting in the small area they kept the birds and feeling very intimated by the beak. Taz is my son's bird and my son visited him almost every single day for about 6 months until he was able to come home. We would go once in a while and my hubby and Taz got along well.

Well it hit me when we entered our front door that day Taz came home that my son might not always be home and I did not want to be afraid in my own house so I reached my hand right over to Taz, who tried to intimadate me with a half hearted snap and squawk. I did not pull back and succeeded in petting his head and was never afraid of him again. Strange thing happened though - Taz started to reject my husband and would not go to him and acted like he didn't know him.

So, what I did was take Taz out of his cage and sia next to my husband on the couch and pat hubby's leg while telling Taz that daddy is a nice bird. My husband would reach out to pet Taz and if Taz reacted negatively I would tell him no in a firm voice and say again that daddy was nice. Also had hubby feed him favorite treats as we sat together. Sometimes a birds favorite person is flattered by the affection and the fact the bird is attached to only them and unknowingly encourage it by not socializing the bird and encouraging it to go to others. This sounds as if what may have happened here.

In my opinion I think there is hope for the bird to accept you. Another thing you can do is carefully feed the bird treats and quietly talk to Zoe while you do this -- while your boyfriend is in another area of the house or not home. This way the bird has only you for attention. Many people have adopted adult macaws into their homes and the birds adjust and accept new people so I don't see why it can't be done in your situation as long as you are willing to be patient and remember positive reinforcement.

If you have any other questions please do not hesitate to ask here on the board or feel free to PM me also. Best of luck and please let us know how it is going.

[teri]

There is alot of hope for you. First, you must realize that since you aren't living with your b.f. that this macaw will not accept you. His apartment is her nest with him and she is protecting it and him. untilyou move in, you can't expect her to accept you. One thing might be good is if you do get to a point where you do move in together, move to a brand new place, new territory! and it isn't her's already (Zoe's).
Another thing you and your b.f. can do is take her into a neutral room, maybe over at your place and play "hot potatoe" with her. pass her back and forth between you two, saying "step up" each time she goes from him to you and you to him. and after she step's up, exclaim with alot of excitement "What a GOOD GIRL! " etc.
You can also take her out for a ride in your car without him and in a foreign place to her and play with her, being out in a new place, she will look to you for security.
as much socialization he can get her to do with other people the better it is for him and Zoe's future.
Good luck! hope this helps

[Macawpower58]

Another way is to make your visits something she enjoys, or looks forwards to. Figure out one of her most favorite treats. Offer her this one treat only when you visit, and only from you. She may not be thrilled with you, but at least she'll connect you with something pleasant and desired.

It would be a start........

[SweetPea]

yes... my macaw is very motivated by treats... and when i first adopted her, she did what diane said... the whole infamous macaw LUNGE... in which they try to intimidate you with her huge beak.

her old owner told me her favorite treat was twizzlers though...and i would talk quietly around her, and offered her twizzlers...in which she had to accept from my hands... i waited for her to come around to me on her term...

but you have to at least PRETEND as hard as you can, that you are NOT intimidated by her... lol

[dlaura]

kitty1973 - just looking for an update on how things are going? Please don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have or have popped up as you are trying what was suggested. I hope things work out for you all.

[Pepsidoodle]

Sure hope you can get her on your side:) . Just wanted to say that I think taking her in the car with only you is a bad idea. The car is too enclosed and may cause panic and major stress. That is what you want to avoid. Bringing her to a bathroom or another room in the house is good but I would avoid going in the car until you are able to establish a bond. JMHO:)

[kitty1973]

thanks for the advise! i saw her the other night and walked in and said hello. she immediately crouched low on the top of the cage. i asked her if she wanted a peanut and she stood up tall and walked over. I spoke quietly and she took the peanut from my hand. Now I think I pushed it cause I was excited and went to hold my had out, and she made a noise and jumped. So I am just going to stick with giving her a peanut. I will keep you updated.